Teen, College Student Mental Health, Substance Misuse Risks Spike During the Holidays: How to Help
Thanksgiving, Christmas Holidays Pose High Risk for Youth and Parents, Family Can Help
This week marks the arrival of teen and college student risk season, otherwise known as the holidays.
For those of us who have worked in the space of helping students and families with mental health and substance misuse risk, we know this fact anecdotally; no need to open the research. We get more calls from young people and, therefore, their families in distress and send more students to treatment or counseling from the week of Thanksgiving into New Year's Day than other weeks of the year.
The primary reasons are apparent: mental health issues, including anxiety, depression, family stress, feelings of aloneness and inadequacy, social pressures, and more mount during this time of transition and change for teens and college students. And when we humans feel discomfort, like any or several of the mental health issues from the list above, we're more likely to self-medicate, deepening the problem.
We've all seen the storyline -- a college student is home for the holidays; initially, out with friends late at night, drinking, perhaps other substances, then sleeping late, and soon out of routine. They feel depressed when the alcohol and or other substances wear off, and the days are short, with little sunshine. Stress at home is mounting because home doesn't feel like it did when they were in high school, and everyone is trying to dance, finding the perfect picture for the limited holiday time, but it's a new dance, not one they know.
For students who battle anxiety and depression and feelings of aloneness and family stress or substance misuse anyway, the scenario can bubble quickly into crisis.
Consider only the holiday periods when teens and college students are more likely to try a new drug -- alcohol, marijuana, or if they've already experienced those, perhaps they try something else.
That's why the role of parents and loved ones with teens and college students during the holidays is critical -- their mental health and well-being often depend on it.
Here's how you can help:
1) Their friends matter, but family matters more in most instances. That's why it's best to make quality family time with healthy engagement (without alcohol, for instance). Young people confirm to me time and time again that such healthy, engaged family time is what they crave, but they won't beg for it. We have to create it with intentionality. A walk, cooking together, putting up a Christmas tree, cleaning out a closet, even fishing or hunting, shooting baskets, or reading a book together are all simple but vital engagement activities that work.
Remember that teens and college students are more prone to try new substances or deepen existing substance use during the holidays, and that typically happens with friends away from home.
2) Ask them open-ended questions often and listen quietly for answers. For example, How are you doing? How does it feel now that you are home? Do you feel rested? What can we do to help make your holiday time productive?
If they answer that they are fatigued, ask them what they need to get rested. If they say they aren't doing well, ask them what they need -- counseling? In other words, continue the open-ended questions in line with the cues they provide.
3) Remember that less is more at home — regarding alcohol. That family that drinks moderately to heavily together is rarely as engaged, healthy and happy as they might think and feel as the dopamine flows during consumption. Moderate to heavy alcohol use makes us fatigued, and as it leaves our bodies, it makes us feel depressed, and more anxious. Less is more, and more is less, when it comes to family and the holidays.
4) Remember that students already struggling with mental health and substance misuse are already in crisis, and the holidays can make that crisis five alarm. Too often, I'm involved with parents who know deep down their child needs help, but they want so much for the family to have a "good" holiday; they ignore the warning signs and convince themselves all is well. When it is not. Often, lives are saved when a loved one gets help before the holidays. Sure, they miss some family time, but they get that and more in the years to come, as opposed to those who don't get help. And, well, we've buried too many.
For healthy and engaged teens and college students during the holidays, it's a simple formula at its core. Quality rest and healthy, engaged family time equal the balance and grounding they crave, even though they'll push hard against it. Aloneness can and will often make them try harder to get closer to friends and unhealthy activities, even if it's what they don't want deep down. Don't shame and pressure them for that behavior; try instead to provide engagement opportunity they can't resist.
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Hey, Yo! Coach Yo, the dynamic, most-amazing coach of the nationally-ranked Ole Miss women’s basketball team is on the A Little Crazy with David Magee podcast this week! You must listen, as Coach Yolett McPhee-McCuin talks about the season of joy for her and her team, how she learned resilience during a trying, losing season, and how she’s overcome doubts and doubters as a female coach from the Bahamas to WIN!
Listen here, and share this one.